Gerbils, Gerbils, Gerbils!
Larry, evil gerbil and top secret ruler of the world is here to tell you that this kuaptic entry is not for the faint of heart. Read on -- if you dare!One member of kuaptic's staff remembers when her little sister was born at Cedars Sinai, her dad came home and claimed that he had seen Richard Gere there. His hypothesis was that Gere had just had a gerbil removed from his butt. Well. We always knew her dad was a liar.
As anyone who's ever worked in a hospital emergency room knows, people come in with all manner of foreign objects stuck up their butts. Some are even surprised that human kind has devloped higher reasoning, cities, wars and bridges because they seem to spend so much time sticking stuff up there. Snopes (at whose urban legend disproving, chain email debunking feet we worship) have done what appears to be an extensive research on the subject and, though they were met with a number of anecdotal gerbil/small rodent scenarios, none were ever backed up with actual medical evidence. They drew the conclusion that this was not an actual sexual practice.
The story seems to emerge from homophobic feelings in society, the implication being that only gay people would stick something up there (though evidence proves otherwise.) It's been attached to a number of male celebrities but ultimately stuck with Richard Gere some time in the mid-eighties. After Pretty Woman's success, some joker sent around a false press release that only fed rumors. However, when the National Enquirer looked into it, they found no evidence that Gere had anything removed from his butt.
For us, this really puts the final nail in the coffin of this story, as if the National Enquirer could find any shred of evidence, no matter how thin, you know they'd print the story in a hot minute.
posted by kuaptic. @ 2:17 PM
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